I'm beginning to think my son may have a split personality.
Sam's always had a temper. I attribute it partially to the red hair and partially to my own temper. I've tried to work on it, but I do lose it on occasion. (More than I'd like to admit.) The kid just knows how to push my buttons.
There's been quite a few nights at the dinner table where he won't eat and I get very angry. Brooke's worked hard on dinner and he should appreciate it, not making up excuses of why he can't eat. Plus he says he repeatedly says he's hunger an hour before and trying to con a snack out of us.
Most of the time he's pretty good though. He's the kid that makes me laugh by acting like a superhero or saying something completely out of nowhere but completely true.
Lately it's been different.
For the last couple months he's been worse than bad. He'll be completely fine. The fun loving Sam that everyone loves. Saying or doing those things that we've come to expect from him. Always being one superhero or another. Then all of a sudden he'll snap and fly off the handle.
An example is the other day. I'm at work when Brooke texts me and says that Sam says he hates her and wishes she wasn't his mother. I asked her what happened and she says she doesn't know. One minute he's being a perfect angel, the next doing something wrong. Of course Brooke corrects him, and he flies off the handle and says these hurtful things. Even through text I know this has her distraught, so I call home.
Brooke is close to tears when she answers. I ask to talk to Sam. He gets on the phone and I read him the riot act. I tell him he'd feel horrible if something happened to mom and what would he do without her? (All things Brooke told me later she told him as well.) He cries and apologizes, but I'm not sure if anything got through.
More on that later.
When getting back on the phone with Brooke tells me she wishes that something would happen to her. That way he'd realize what he'd miss. I tell her how much I love her and want her around. I hate that she feels that way. She's in tears at this point, which make me feel even more terrible that I can't be there.
This morning the same scenario happens. He gets in trouble for something, I'm not sure what, so Brooke sends him to his room. After a few minutes Brooke goes in to talk to him and finds this...
He'd opened his window and tore wholes in his screen. He insists that Buzz Lightyear did it. I'm fuming, but try to handle it without a lot of yelling. Let's face it, if you found this there'd be some yelling. I left before I could get too worked up and let Brooke sentence him to his room. He tried to apologize but I let him know how made I still was and didn't accept it.
I'm at a loss on how to handle this. It seems if I get mad it sends the wrong impression that losing his temper is okay cause "Dad does it". If I reprimand him calmly I feel like I'm being to lenient. I'm afraid that he doesn't learn his mistake and feels he can get away with it again.
What to do?
I'm sure a lot of parents have this type of issue. Most of them I see on Super Nanny, which scares me. I know he's a good kid and that hopefully he'll grow out of it with the right example, I just wish I knew how to be that example. I guess all I can do is love him regardless. It's just hard sometimes.
On the other hand I've got two great girls that ARE good examples to him and leave loving notes like this.
With stuff like this I have faith he'll turn out alright.
Sam's always had a temper. I attribute it partially to the red hair and partially to my own temper. I've tried to work on it, but I do lose it on occasion. (More than I'd like to admit.) The kid just knows how to push my buttons.
There's been quite a few nights at the dinner table where he won't eat and I get very angry. Brooke's worked hard on dinner and he should appreciate it, not making up excuses of why he can't eat. Plus he says he repeatedly says he's hunger an hour before and trying to con a snack out of us.
Most of the time he's pretty good though. He's the kid that makes me laugh by acting like a superhero or saying something completely out of nowhere but completely true.
Lately it's been different.
For the last couple months he's been worse than bad. He'll be completely fine. The fun loving Sam that everyone loves. Saying or doing those things that we've come to expect from him. Always being one superhero or another. Then all of a sudden he'll snap and fly off the handle.
An example is the other day. I'm at work when Brooke texts me and says that Sam says he hates her and wishes she wasn't his mother. I asked her what happened and she says she doesn't know. One minute he's being a perfect angel, the next doing something wrong. Of course Brooke corrects him, and he flies off the handle and says these hurtful things. Even through text I know this has her distraught, so I call home.
Brooke is close to tears when she answers. I ask to talk to Sam. He gets on the phone and I read him the riot act. I tell him he'd feel horrible if something happened to mom and what would he do without her? (All things Brooke told me later she told him as well.) He cries and apologizes, but I'm not sure if anything got through.
More on that later.
When getting back on the phone with Brooke tells me she wishes that something would happen to her. That way he'd realize what he'd miss. I tell her how much I love her and want her around. I hate that she feels that way. She's in tears at this point, which make me feel even more terrible that I can't be there.
This morning the same scenario happens. He gets in trouble for something, I'm not sure what, so Brooke sends him to his room. After a few minutes Brooke goes in to talk to him and finds this...
He'd opened his window and tore wholes in his screen. He insists that Buzz Lightyear did it. I'm fuming, but try to handle it without a lot of yelling. Let's face it, if you found this there'd be some yelling. I left before I could get too worked up and let Brooke sentence him to his room. He tried to apologize but I let him know how made I still was and didn't accept it.
I'm at a loss on how to handle this. It seems if I get mad it sends the wrong impression that losing his temper is okay cause "Dad does it". If I reprimand him calmly I feel like I'm being to lenient. I'm afraid that he doesn't learn his mistake and feels he can get away with it again.
What to do?
I'm sure a lot of parents have this type of issue. Most of them I see on Super Nanny, which scares me. I know he's a good kid and that hopefully he'll grow out of it with the right example, I just wish I knew how to be that example. I guess all I can do is love him regardless. It's just hard sometimes.
On the other hand I've got two great girls that ARE good examples to him and leave loving notes like this.
With stuff like this I have faith he'll turn out alright.
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