Family Drama

So a couple months ago Brooke and I went through a little drama with Brooke's sister, and anybody who knows her knows that when I say "little" it's very much in the opposite direction. Anyway what happened was her girls asked if they could spend the night later in the week. Brooke said "We'll see." Well when that day rolled around and Brooke said "Probably not." it incited a war with Brooke's sister. It all ended with her sister calling Brooke a bad mom and Brooke saying she was done with dealing with her.

Fast forward to 4 months later, we've haven't spoke to her since then. Brooke was too hurt by her sister's comments to want to reconcile quite yet. Well we were asked to a family BBQ at Brooke's grandparents house to visit with Brooke's uncle that doesn't live in town and doesn't visit a lot. Of course Brooke's sister accepted the invitation as well. Brooke and I were trying to be cordial. Brooke held conversation with her sister, where I kept my distance and didn't speak with them much.

Apparently that was my first mistake. I kept my distance and didn't speak to them. I even read, so I wouldn't have to join their conversation. Now by no means does that mean I ignored everybody. I held conversations with quite a few other family members. I even talked to Brooke's grandpa about how useless his granddaughters boyfriend was. (Yes, this granddaughter being Brooke's sister.)

Well, on the way out the boyfriend made a comment about me reading at a family BBQ and how that was "Not cool. Who reads at a family BBQ." Of course he tried to keep it quiet to where only he and Brooke's sister heard it, but of course Brooke heard it. She said something, but he ignored her and they left. Of course Brooke let me in what was said and I made a comment on my Facebook. That was my second mistake.

Brooke made a comment of course and, even though I'm not friends with her, her sister saw it. This incited another battle over Facebook between Brooke and her sister. It ended with her sister calling me a bad father for reading at a BBQ instead of playing with my children and how I didn't even sit next to my kids at dinner. Brooke ended up deleting her sister from her Facebook friends. Even though after they left, I put my book down and pulled my son around in a wagon. Also she of course doesn't realize that my kids wanted to play with their cousins more than they wanted to play with their dad.

I've kept wondering since then what I could've done differently so Brooke wouldn't have had more trouble with her sister. I feel a bit guilty, like I started this new round of battle between them, when all I was trying to do was keep from getting into a battle with them.

Brooke, naturally, is broken up about the whole thing. She wants to have a relationship with her sister, but is so tired of all the turmoil that being around them brings that she's distanced herself from her sister and her sister's family. Brooke's mom doesn't seem to be a big help. Because Brooke's sister is the baby, she tends to take her side instead of just being a listening ear and trying to help resolve the conflict. Instead it's a "You need to apologize. She's your sister and you said some pretty mean things." Even though Brooke wasn't the one that called her a bad mother.

It's trying to say the least. I want Brooke to have that relationship, but my only advice is that she can't put herself in a situation where she's talked to and treated like that. She just has to distance herself until her sister is ready to resume a healthy relationship. Even though reading it it sounds like good advice, I can't help feeling I'm driving that wedge along with her sister and her sister's boyfriend.